Simple Tips for Taking Care of 2 Under 2
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Having your first baby is a reality check. Most of the time, it is much harder than you imagine it to be. Operating on multiple sleepless nights is no joke! Just imagine finally getting the hang of things, your child is sleeping through the night with a predictable routine, then you find out you’re pregnant again before your baby’s first birthday. After the initial excitement of having another baby, you might be wondering how you’ll be able to juggle it all when the baby comes. My son and my daughter are only 20 months apart and it definitely has its challenges, but I’m here to tell you that I made it through the infant stages and so can you. Whenever I would ask fellow moms for advice on how they were able to do it, I usually would hear things like, “I don’t know,” or “It’s all a blur.” And honestly, they were not wrong. In all the chaos, what helped the most was finding ways to have small pockets of peace sprinkled throughout the day. That is why, I wanted to keep advice simple. Here are 5 key things that made things a little easier on my journey as a mom of 2 under 2.
Share Time
The first thing that I learned, rather quickly, is that I needed to be okay with sharing time, not just splitting time. You’re probably asking, “What does that even mean?” Well, as lovely as it would be to have one on one time with your small children, it is not always possible. So, I switched my mindset. Once I realized the valuable life lessons that came with sharing time, such as knowing that I wasn’t ignoring my son’s needs, I was teaching him how to wait, that there is time for both him and his sister, and considering it time for my son and daughter to bond, I felt a lot less mom guilt. Newborns require a lot of attention in the beginning and it’s easy to feel guilty that you are not spending enough time with your 1 year old. Out of necessity, I found myself sharing time with both of my children, all the time. Once my baby was big enough to safely fit in a baby carrier, I wore her when my one year old wanted to play. And, when my baby needed a diaper change I would invite my son to help, so he felt included. I would often talk with him while I’m doing things for his sister. Before sitting to breastfeed her, I would set up some toys nearby (or right next to me, which is where he wanted to be). I wish I could say this went smoothly every time, but as you can imagine, it didn’t. There were learning curves and tantrums, but in the long run, both children learned lessons in patience, boundary setting, and sharing. If you are looking for a good baby carrier, I started out using the Baby K’tan sling when I was baby wearing and trying to keep up with my toddler around the house. Then, when my daughter grew bigger, I mostly used the Ergo Baby 360 when we were out and about. Both carriers were easy to use and both of my babies loved them!
Sleep Train
The second thing that really made a huge difference in taking care of 2 under 2 is sleep training. My son was already sleep trained and by the time my daughter arrived, he already slept through the night and was on a consistent once a day nap schedule. His consistent routine allowed me to plan out when I can fit in chores or when I could have one on one time with my daughter. The real game changer was when I was able to sleep train my daughter around 4-5 months old. She didn’t actually sleep through the night until about 6 months old, but we were able to work on daytime naps earlier. Honestly, this can be tricky with a 1 year old around. I knew I needed a solid couple weeks to get this done, so I asked my husband to take paternity leave at that time. I suggest that if you are able, this is the time to ask for help to entertain your older child. It will just make nap training go a little smoother. Once my daughter got the hang of naps in her crib, there were 3 separate occasions that I was able to carve out one on one time with my son! This made me feel more organized and in control of the day. And, as they grew and their nap schedules shifted, I hit that magic hour (or 2) where their naps overlapped and I had some time for myself. I used it to catch up on chores, cook, or for some me time. If you don’t know where to start with sleep training, there are so many resources out there on the internet. It is a bit of trial and error, but once you find a method that works for you and your family, you’ll be glad that you did it. I read the book, “The Sleepeasy Solution, The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep,” by Jennifer Waldburger LCSW and Jill Spivack LCSW. It was a quick read and easy to just flip through as a resource. I also felt that it was necessary that both children have their own sound machines to block out each other’s noises and blackout curtains to ensure a long and restful sleep. I absolutely love the Hatch Rest Sound Machine and we currently use these Amazon Basics Portable Window Blackout Curtain Shade with suction cups.
Encourage Self-Feeding
The third thing that was a game changer when taking care of 2 littles at the same time was getting them to self-feed as soon as they were able. I started out with puréed foods when my son was ready for solids, but as soon he showed interest in grabbing the spoon and self-feeding, I let him lead the way. He started solids early (around 5 months old), so he started his journey with self-feeding early. Pretty soon, he was self-feeding soft finger foods and before I knew it, he was an expert little self-feeder. It was lovely to have that time when he was in his high chair for meals and snacks. It gave me time to eat or nurse his sister nearby. I ended up doing the same for his baby sister. When she was old enough and ready for solid foods, she followed suit. With practice, she also got the hang of self-feeding. Meals and snack times were great! Both children were independent and I could eat at the same time as both of them. There are so many ways to feed your babies, and all ways are good as long as your babies are fed. There’s a ton of resources out there on baby led weaning. I was a little uncomfortable with that, so I did a blend of puréed foods and slowly eased into baby led weaning when both my children and I felt comfortable. Overall, meals and snacks became a social time for all of us and I loved it!
Grocery Delivery
The fourth thing that I did that really helped when I was taking care of 2 under 2, was use grocery delivery. It wasn’t always easy putting the baby down and having my son cry while I bring the groceries in, but I can’t imagine what it would be like if I had to take a newborn and 1 year old to the grocery store every week. I use the Safeway grocery app, which also makes it easy to shop for the groceries we need from my phone. During this time, I felt like I was always on the move with my children around the house. It was nice that if I thought of a random menu idea for the week I could jot it down in my notes on my phone and quickly add the ingredients to my grocery list throughout the week. It also helped me see a running total of my groceries, allowing me to visually see if I am staying within budget. Getting my groceries delivered ensured that my family had food, it helped me with brainstorming meals, budgeting and it saved my precious time.
Let Go of Perfection
Last, but not least, I had to change my mindset and let go of perfection. With my first child, I had him on a pretty rigid schedule and I definitely was not the “go with the flow” kind of mom. I did this because it was easier for both my son and myself as a new mom. But, when my daughter was born, she needed time to settle into her own schedule, which, of course, was not in line with anyone else's and that is okay. Sometimes chores and tasks were left unfinished. To be fair to both of my children, sometimes our days couldn’t be perfect. I had to give all of us grace and learn how to roll with punches of life.
So that’s it folks! Those are the 5 main ways that I was able to find balance in the craziness of having 2 under 2. Now, before we part ways, I want to say that your children will get older, it will naturally get easier, and whatever you choose to implement or not, everything will be alright! And when both children get old enough to play together, it is one of the most rewarding things to watch.
