How to Survive the Newborn Stage
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I’m not the type that goes into anything unprepared. I read books, I used to work with children, and I felt prepared and eager for my first baby to come. But, I learned quickly that nothing can really prepare you for the experience of having a newborn for the very first time. As funny as it may sound, my sweet baby boy shook me up and turned my life upside down. I found that I was well prepared to take care of my baby, but I wasn’t prepared to take care of myself during that time. That is why, when I got pregnant again, I knew I would be doing things better. I would be more organized, confident, and able to protect my mental health. Here are 6 things that I did differently with baby #2, that I wish I did when I was a new mom.
Start a Night Routine Immediately
In my opinion, this is the tip of the century! When you’re pregnant, everyone jokes around saying, “sleep now because you won’t get it when the baby is here.” But, let’s be real, sleeping months earlier won’t help you when you’re sleep deprived 1 month postpartum. Instead, people should be teaching you tips on how to actually sleep when the baby is sleeping. With my son, I naively thought it would be easy to sleep when the baby is sleeping around the clock, but the hustle and bustle of daytime made that almost impossible even if I wanted to. For my second baby, I established a night routine immediately. With the help of my husband, I was able to get myself, and both children ready for sleep before my son’s 7 o’clock bedtime. This was not a time that I was downstairs catching up on dishes or other chores. I spent this time feeding and changing my baby and sleeping in between feeds until 6:30 in the morning. I found that even though this almost 12 hour chunk of time was largely interrupted every 2 and a half to 3 hours, I was still able to get periodic 1-2 hour chunks of sleep during that time, which added up! Of course, there were nights that my daughter was extra fussy and I didn’t get as much sleep as I’d like, but on most nights, I knew I would get at least 6-7 hours of sleep a night during the newborn phase. This is not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you like or miss sleep, you should give a night routine a try!
Don’t Sweat the Chores
When I was postpartum with my first born, I was a mess. I tried so hard to keep up with the bottle washing, pump part sanitizing, laundry, and other chores around the house that I lost sight of what I really needed during that time, and that was sleeping and eating. When I was postpartum with my second baby, I prioritized differently. As I mentioned earlier, I found a way to get some sleep by having an early night routine. And that meant that during the day, I could focus on doing everything else between feeds and diaper changes during the day. I felt good knowing that I was dedicating consistent times during the day to getting dishes washed and laundry done, while taking turns with my husband and other family members playing with my toddler. I let go of any expectation that any big chores would get done in the first couple months postpartum and I gave myself grace with getting chores done. I treated my chore list more like a running task list instead of a daily task list with a strict deadline. If things didn’t get done, I knew that I tried my best, and there will be time to continue where I left off the next day. Not putting so much pressure on myself to clean the house when I was recovering helped me recover faster! Plus, I knew that this was only temporary and I would get back into cleaning once my family fell into a more comfortable routine sometime down the road.
Get Help with Breastfeeding
The third thing that I did differently during my second time being postpartum is I saw a lactation specialist earlier. With my first baby, I had waited until my milk supply took a dive and I started supplementing with formula before I saw a lactation specialist for the first time in the clinic. She was lovely and gave me tips on breastfeeding and how to improve my baby’s latch that I would have not learned on my own. But, by then, it was too late. My milk supply was not keeping up with demand and I eventually switched to exclusive formula feeding. After seeing a lactation consultant, I knew that if I had gotten help earlier in postpartum, I might have been able to nurse for longer. That is why I made an appointment with a lactation specialist within the first week postpartum with my second baby. And as expected, I was able to nurse her for almost a whole year before she decided to wean off on her own. It was a blessing to be able to breastfeed that long when I had two under two because it did help to decrease the amount of supplies that needed to be washed and night feeds were quicker when you didn’t have to prep a bottle.
Be OK with Formula
My attitude about baby formula changed after having my first baby. He was exclusively bottle fed formula for the majority of his first year of life and he turned out happy, healthy, and full! During my first pregnancy, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be able to exclusively breastfeed. Unnecessarily, I beat myself up over not producing enough milk. During my second pregnancy, I definitely had a more relaxed attitude about feeding and we even had some formula available at home before I delivered, just in case we decided to supplement early on. I’m convinced being ok with the alternative plan of formula feeding and giving myself more grace with breastfeeding are some of the reasons why breastfeeding went so well the second time around.
Get Ready for the Day
One drastic thing that changed from postpartum with baby #1 and postpartum with baby #2 is that I set aside a few minutes every morning to get myself ready for the day. I made it a point to change out of pajamas, wash my face and put on a little bit of makeup everyday. It may seem silly getting ready, even when I had nowhere to go and no one outside of my immediate family to see, but it made me feel good about myself. With hormones going all over the place and a postpartum body that did not just bounce back, getting ready for the day was one simple thing I did to boost my confidence and self-esteem during this sensitive time. If you are looking for tips to quickly get yourself ready before the kids wake up, you can check out a couple of my previous blog posts, “5 Minute Makeup Routine for Tired Moms,” and “Morning Skincare Routine for Busy Moms.”
Freezer Meals
I know that I’ve already mentioned making freezer meals in several previous blog posts, but it’s because it is a vital step to prepare for a successful postpartum. Knowing that you have food available for your family will give you peace of mind during this time when your hands are full. I learned from my first experience postpartum that I did not prepare nearly enough food during my first time being postpartum. We did have help with some home cooked meals from my parents and in-laws, but I needed to make more frozen meals to really help me transition to meal planning and cooking on my own again when I felt ready. You better believe I was more prepared the second time around and as expected, the transition back to getting into a routine of meal planning for my family happened much more smoothly! If your problem is that you don’t have enough containers to store freezer meals, you can try getting a set of deli containers! They are easily stackable and can hold a larger amount of food for how compact they look.
The newborn stage is notoriously known to be difficult for several different reasons. Sleep deprivation, being new to newborn care, and just needing time to heal from delivering a baby are just to name a few. Hopefully this blog post gives some insight that will be helpful during those first couple months postpartum. I just found it important to keep reminding myself that it may be hard now, but this stage is short and it will get easier with time!
